If you are new to my tribe then you may not know that as a love warrior, a truth teller on a mission to get women to rise up, resolve unconscious commitment and trauma, so they can confidently claim their gifts and share their unique area of expertise THEIR way, (not some copy cat cloned system they have been sold to them from a space of fear that they are not enough) with people who are looking for them, I want to address the elephant in the room that to me is another form of gas lighting and clandestine trauma….
( I spoke about the harmful side effects of gas lighting here, if you are wondering what that is and how you may have been gas lighted
Its something I have been speaking about for years with my peers and is finally getting out of the closet – The trauma of the life transformational industry, online marketing and social media madness…..
If you haven’t noticed, Facebook is a pretty crazy place to be right now.
I have felt the effect of online gas lighting aka information overload myself,
and anger come up again today when I was speaking with a woman who was exploring natural fertility boost sessions with me who was in overwhelm and stressing herself out with so much confusing, conflicting information out there ( not the best prescription for someone who is trying to reduce her stressors so her body can come out of fight/flight/freeze and famine and know it’s safe enough to conceive and birth a baby into the world!!).
I realized that the fast speed of technology and sensory information overload of google searches, anti social behavior and fb addiction has created another form of trauma and stress in our lives.
As I scroll down my feed (yes I am affected myself by this addiction)
eyes glazed over and heart braking as I feel the pain, grief and suffering of animals
to what we are doing to the Earth and other people
that in seconds swings into avoidance and a sense f numbing down, detaching from the hopelessness and sheer overwhelm of how do I make a difference
that often ties has me tossing and turning unable to sleep as the images of dying dolphins and tortured Peta videos replay in my mind that pendualtes to ambivalnce and despair at the state of affairs in governments and corruption
and back to the industry I am part of life transformation, business coaching and
animal intuitives where I see all of the same-same ads for experts living perfect lives
– all problems forever solved by a 7 figure business,
and a system that promises to give you the same magic fairy tale life style
even though they know nothing about you.
One person said to me
– “I have stopped paying attention – its all just numbing me out.”
And that is just not working for me – I want people to come alive and get their needs met
to stop running on a treadmill
and return to loving what is.
To create secure attachment for yourself
Instead of controlled intimacy
facebook. text messages, the superficiality of connection
and fake vulnerability that makes us feel we have to hold back
for fear of rejection
or less money in your bank account
so you hold back of expressing who you are
and then there is shame.
So why do we care so much and what do we do about it?
“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world
and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes hard to plan the day.”
– E.B. White
We need to know who we are and what we stand for
our boundaries and values
because we are as a species in crisis
we are all experiencing various degrees of trauma.
Our shame triggers are on hyper drive
and its freaking so many people out.
So isn’t it time to do some personal inventory
and master knowing our shadows?
To be accountable for our own way forward in the world
especially when it hurts?
and have people around you who can support you in that?
So has the online bubble of false prophets and overnight gurus and self professed experts
from all the ads I see from affiliates, that James Wedmore is about to launch, and many others before that.
I keep hearing people saying that they are seriously fed up of the
“Hey, pay me some money and I’ll show you how I make money”
When that is the only way they’re making money!!
And please know, I am generalizing here, I know of some amazing people doing great things
and working their asses off to make a positive impact and make great money
I have bought James Wedmore’s amazing program and many others
but none of it is a quick fix, magic pill
it requires personal commitment to make the info work FOR you
and a lot of sleepless nights, failing fast and making lots of mistakes to make YOUr business work, your way.
I am all for honesty marketing, being upfront and imperfect about our human flaws
And has me constantly asking and wondering what happened to our hearts?
“Ask your SOUL what is sees
and trust that!”
We all crave the comfort of connection.
We all want that almost indefinable pleasure and ease that comes from feeling connected.
We are psychologically and physiologically wired to be in community,
and we’ll believe and do preposterous things to feel attached,
and approved of—
especially if we can get the approval of a crowd.
Essentially, we’ll go along with lies and a certain degree of gas lighting,
so we can earn points from a perceived higher power.
too many of us think that other people’s opinions are a higher power.
We stoop and shrink to give more space to outside input.
We become cautious and accommodating.
We choose to believe that we are less powerful so that someone else can feel important
when they approve of and “Love” us—
but at least we get the Love we crave—
not that it’s real Love.
If there ever was a vicious cycle…
If you think you’re defective or in need of xing (which is the biggest lie of all),
you will most definitely attract lovers,
and politicians who want to so-called “love” you,
and “ x” you,
and “lead” you.
It’s an economy of broken hearts and menders.
Too many questions or too much self-su ciency throws the salvation business
out of balance.
Emancipation and breakups would erupt,
advertisers would go bankrupt, gods would topple.
It would be self-reliance anarchy!
So I’m asking you:
Do your beliefs take your personal power into account?
Do your beliefs fuel your freedom?
Do you believe in yourself?
Do you believe that money comes to us through other people?
and that it takes heart connection
“Boundaries are not walls. They are a living container within which your
desires can breathe, ge ate and grow until they are ready to be born.”
– Hiro Boga
because those that see you
you are growing off the same tree of life
and what they see in the truth of you is their own truth
and so they value the work you do
enough to actually pay for the generous service
that lead first with heart and are rewarded well for that.
I hang with those people who are changing the status quo
and the way we show up in our work.
And I am in deep appreciation for people like Danielle La Porte
in her new book White Hot Truth has the following and the calling
to REACH more people
and hopefully start to questioning their own white hot truths
and integrity in their lives
and that is all that matters !!
As always my intention is not be a bringer of doom and gloom.
The online bubble bursting represents a wonderful opportunity to be a pioneer in thinking out of the box and building your business with your own common sense.
I’ve been saying this for years – it’s just much more obvious to most people online now.
Behind those ads are men and women doing the best they can with what they have
finding their own way through the online world,
trying to make an income
and change other people’s lives.
The contrast of the light is the shadows
my own inadequacies and doubts
that come up for deeper enquiry when I see posts like this,
because as much as they can inspire and grow us to deepen into our own work
I have also see them stop many women from stepping up out of fear
that they are ENOUGH, that their work matters
and I have also heard some say that they don’t want to be perceived as one of ‘those’ people.
And I say on all sides “Mind your own business and carry on!”
Your story is truth
Your work is created from pure heart and grid intention
Sp stop worrying about what other people are doing!
We are all flawed in our human nature
but we are worthy of true, intimate loving connections
of an abundant, joy filled life you love….
“IN TO ME SEE”
because if you cannot see yourself as LOVE in a body
how can others find you?
That is intimacy at its best
its owning your values,
that you are worthy just by you being YOU
and once you own that you are your own determiner
and no dress size,
gets to tell you otherwise
You are undefinable
and its time to BE your own GURU
and respect your own boundaries
and say NO to anything that does not align your soul with your goals!!
I mean, it’s always had a chaotic quality to it, but with current events the way they are, I can feel a lot more fear and frenzy in my feed.
So what can we learn from this?
Well first, a little humor and a large dose of truth mixed with allowance of what others are choosing, the no judgement zone I discuss in the 5 cornerstones of loving yourself completely
is always required of you…….
And, taking a clear stand,
aligning your message with your sou’s vision,
and repeating your purpose pathways
as a love warrior
again and again
is how you get to love yourself completely
love your business
and love your tribe.
When people can relate to your authenticity
that you mess up and make mistakes
that you are human too
when they know what you stand for,
why you do the work you do,
and how you do it differently from that other guy down the street.
They need to hear your message loud and clear.
Over and over.
Now more than ever.
I have a message:
It’s that I truly believe that if we unplug from our sped-up society and follow nature’s wisdom we can have more sustainable lives and businesses.
That we can even make the world a healthier,
and more connective place in the process.
That message is as important now as it ever was,
and arguably even more important.
Someone will always judge you, tell you it’s somehow inappropriate to speak your
truth and share your message.
That maybe you need to tone things down and not shine your light so bright.
Please don’t ever stop standing in your truth.
Because your work is more important than ever:
There’s a reason you do what you do,
your story matters
you did not go through everything you have been through
NOT to share the wisdom of your growing pains
and my guess is that your love story is a powerful and inspiring one,
and one that is integral to express right now.
So I hope you take some time to explore deeply what you love
about your life
and get clear about these questions:
What do you stand for?
Why do you help people?
Can you incorporate that into your mission, vision and purpose?
And shout it from the rooftops?
Email me back, I’d love to hear it.
And remember to tread lightly on yourself
Listen to your heart
calling you back to your soul –
the home where your self love resides
the best self-help is self-compassion.
When you give yourself credit for making it this far in life—
and still being a Gentle Soul—
then you’ll know the Truth of Love.
When, in a courageously still moment you hear yourself say,
“I have everything I need right now,” then you’ll know the Truth of Faith.
And you’ll bring that shine to work with you.
And to your causes, and your Loving,
and your collaborations with the Universe.
It is time to love yourself completely and you can.
Book your 30 minute CLARITY session now so you can live happy, fulfilled and in love with your life and stop the cycle of abuse in its tracks.
You deserve to know you are enough and it’s not ok to believe you deserve to be abused and robbed of your joy!