Every day I open my eyes and give thanks that I get to live “eyes wide open”, awake and present to being
an active participant of creating a NEW Earth by taking full responisbility to make every moment count in healing this Great Separation Sickness and returning to TRUST.
August was a month of “mending” – when I did my 12 month “envisioning my 2017”,
back in January and pulled 12 oracle cards for guidance, I had no idea August would be like it was….
So when I found myself in August, sick with a huge case of laryngitis, i took it as a sign to
stop talking and listen to my inner wise woman – recommit to my vision and attune
and then I asked myself:
“How can I be a better person? How can I give more, do better?”
and then I open my morning pages and I write –
1 more way that I can action betterment and go out and live it.
I shared my process for manifesting and intention setting here
Well, here we we are 9 months into both this year and the 9 year cycle that we embarked on at the beginning of this year. And what a year it has already been.
Numerologically, 2017 is a 1 year (the first of this 9 year cycle) which means it is all about foundations. And boy hasn’t it been. All that is not in alignment is rising up to be healed (individually and planetarily), looked at and addressed one and for all. The planets have been assisting us and while it has been challenging I am met with a deep reassurance that healing truly is possible and if we go all in, it is both more urgent and easier than it has been before.
For me, the focus has been on all on my physical body (like at a deep cellular level),
home (where is it?),
support (receiving a whole new level of it)
and the nervous system (switching off the fight/flight response – thank heaven’s for the TRUST process and years of training in neuroplasty, mindfulness,meditation and alternative lifestyle medicine)!
Talk about deepening into TRUST
going at my body’s pace
attuning to these new frequencies of light
listening to how my body of work wants to expand.
And I know I am not alone.
It feels as though the whole nervous system of the planet is recalibrating
and if you are even remotely highly sensitive, on some level you will have felt it.
I know I have, as have my clients in Earth shaking awakening ways.
The message I keep receiving is how important it is to stay grounded
and to USE the energy that we are feeling
to be devotional in the present moment to moment
To TRUST in your capacities and use them intentionally
rather than be victims of old systems, predictability and chaos.
The eclipse saw us enter a new age, what I call the Age of Light
and it is by no coincidence I believe that the mighty Louise Hay left her physical body
after this transition.
Words cannot express the deep gratitude that I have been feeling since hearing of her rising on. How one woman created so much change (and didn’t start this part of her journey until the age of 50) inspires me so much. If you are called to do something and think it’s too late, it most definitely is not.
Remember, you’ve been training for this for lifetimes.
Like many others, Louise Hay was my gateway drug to all things soul. My first teacher. My original wise woman. She built my soul’s voice a home, for which I will never be able to express my gratitude. May the seeds of light that she planted continue to bloom in us all to continue her legacy.
I am going to ask you for something today, that I have not asked you before.
Do something that makes you want to swear out loud.
Makes you want to cry from being afraid.
Do something that leaves a bruise.
And share the story about how you got it.
When my whole life as I knew it collapsed into a pile of ashes 16 years ago,I felt like my body could not survive the aftermath of starting over again.
That day I tried to take my own life rather
than muster the strength to feel again,
and had the support from my loved ones
to choose to live, I checked myself into a mental hospital
to lick my wounds,
to nurse my battered body and mind and tell my story with a whole heart – to trust I am and have always been enough.
I had a very different conversation that lasted
well over a year
with God, the Universe
And he/she was not asking me to save the world.
Just to save myself.
To stop being afraid
And if I did that then, well then it would be as it should be.
I would be able to return to TRUST,
write the truth,
and that would make the universe better somehow.
And that is when everything changed for me.
I screamed at my soul.
And I didn’t have to ‘stay’ for more than 5 seconds at a time.
Little by little, one inch at a time I grew stronger.
(I returned to TRUST.)
Well God, Universe, my dear Soul
I have learned that we run away from life after tragedy
so we don’t have to hurt again.
And that we need to feel, heal from past trauma and
come alive again.
We have to become undone to return to our hearts.
Because when we go back to it,
the chances of us being bruised are much higher.
But not letting the wounds, bruise our bodies and hearts is still bruising.
And much worse. It is a soul bruise.A spiritual divorce.
And that kind of bruise is the worst type.
It doesn’t heal.
And I never want to bruise my soul again
by efficiently shutting down life force energy.
I hope you forgive me for being so brutal today.
Choosing to live into a meaningful
Life is much more brutal and beautifull than I thought it was.
Without trusting the feelings, waking up, we might as well not live.
And I am not ever going to let that happen to me again.
I hope you feel the same way about your own life after loss.
Don’t ever let f****** grief get in the way of your bruises.
They make you.
Not having them breaks you.
I had it all wrong.
We need both the light and darkness to remember why we are here.
And we chose to have this physical experience in a body
not to play it safe, predictable, successful and comfortable
in our discomfort or our Ego’s convenience
We are here to be brave, to trust we are enough
if like me at time you are afraid of losing everything and everyone.
We are here to stretch outside old comfort zones
that are no longer comfirtable,
We are here to take risks,
fall from grace,
see the obstacles as the way
embrace challenges as growth partners
show up imperfectly
stop being scared of everything.
So, in celebration of !st September, Spring and your light –
here are 55 ways to Trust yourself
to live better , BE better – now more than ever
and tread gently on your self.
I look forward to seeing this Better-ments list grow as you add your
own beautiful wise intentional actions and prayers to this LIVING document.
Much appreciation for you
P.P.S. What I have learned is that we have to return to trusting that we need the dark
as much as the light. All the dark needs is to be seen and loved back to secure attachment
very very patiently and persistently. If you hear the call, the world needs your light and your voice –
I hope you join “Being Herd – Return to Trust” 1 day live workshop with horses.
The transformations of trauma with people and animals who have received the
Trust Process in private sessions and through learning how to use it to help heal others
has me all lit up. I am on a mission to share this work with as many people as possible so that
together we can create sustainable and permanent change.
When you know with all you heart that it is time to take responsibility for your own
inner work as one goal family, a new future can unfold.
This is how the force of love within us gets stronger and stronger, as we learn to “care, own and repair,”
as Carista Luminare says.
I believe this kind of loving and healing is possible for our world, but it will take deep bravery for us to
look into our shadows, the dark past, to see how it is still dictating our present, and to take ownership for our parts in its perpetuation or reparation..
It’s going to take a lot of TRUST, to have brave, real, raw,
authentic, conscious conversations.
Let horse medicine support you.
Stay focused, envision the future you want to see and then move towards it one step
into TRUST, FAITH, GRACE AND LOVE at a time.
And when you are ready for support, you know where I am.