where do you need to let go of the confines of your minds never ending dread of feeling you are just never arriving, where joy is trying so, so hard to unmet itself in spite of your longing to over think and strategize and force into being that makes you weak, sucks your vitality right out of your body and robs you of your innate abundance to be devotional in you, trusting you have and always have been beautifully imperfect in your longings to trust yourself, trust others, trust in life and lean into your permission slip to have what you want and reckon in a healthy way with your needs because everything you have already gone through will carry you through. Why? because you are enough, trust that it is okay to be hungry for change and go there.
If you have doubts about any of that you will stay in the suffering of never enough and figure out how to get yourself in your pain so others can meet you right there in showing up devoted to your joy of living because you are clearly in touch and in how you articulate authentically with what you are longing for.
As we move into a new moon in Aries, mid April and the wounded healer energies of Chiron be patient, lean into self compassion and as tender and terrifying as that may be, trust your soul and the big Soul know you are brave and resilient and devotional in every thing you are and everything you don’t know in the no body and some body space of no more.
Tap into your big, beating, beautiful heart space and then answer the call as part wise medicine woman and crone and crazy lady and powerful witch as I did when an old Oak tree spoke to me and said:
I heard the most faint whisper say.
“It’s going to be ok. Do it.”
“Do what?” I responded.
“Take a chance.” the whisper said. “On yourself.”
The whisper continued as if it knew my most private thoughts.
As if it lived inside my mind, in between the struggle. The doubts. The worry.
“But how would I know if it’s the right thing?” I said and shook my head.
And I waited for it to tell me more, make me feel better.
Reassure me. Convince me.
I waited a whole minute.
Nothing. No more whispers. No reassurance.
No steps in between me and trusting myself.
Deep down I knew what it was asking me to do.
The first time I listened to this voice was in 2010.
It said “quit your job.”
And I did. I cried about it.
It was that painful to trust myself.
It hurt like real pain does.
I knew self trust was not an easy thing but self trust after devastating loss was even harder.
The next time the whisper spoke to me, was not easier either.
“Speak your mind,” it said. It was the same year.
And it wasn’t just once.
But to speak my mind every day.
To take a chance on me every day.
I did it.
I started writing this letter, you are reading.
At first, I could only trust myself with one paragraph.
And for months I only wrote that one paragraph.
But after a while something started to change.
And it wasn’t the pain. But a feeling.
I started to feel different about myself.
It was as if I was changing.
The more I trusted myself the more I changed.
people always ask me how it all started.
when the sabatoeru voice shouted
“don’t do it”
And instead I listened to the faint whisper asking me to trust myself.
Tose one degree shifts that remind me who I am and why I came to this planet.
I listened to the faint whisper of my heart asking me to trust myself more fully the the day before.
The hardest thing I ever had to do.
It still is to this day….
a moment by moment prayer
to show up, just a little more each day in gratitude
for the sweet breath, the last stretch and the next step
towards more of my soul.
The difference is that the whisper is not a whisper anymore.
It’s a loud voice as if it comes from a megaphone.
And it won’t let me be until I say “Yes”
and to also honor my NO.
Yes I will take this chance too.
And this one.
It still hurts.
And it still is the hardest thing I do.
But it is supposed to make your stomach a little nauseous.
Your hands trembling.
Your chest pounding.
And I know you and I can do the pounding and the trembling.
Have you forgotten the levels of it we have endured?
We are the pros.
The masters of it all.
Loss makes us almost superhuman,
we can endure earthquakes and tremors most people can’t.
You can recover from the pounding the self trust will bring. I know you can.
So…what will you trust yourself with TODAY?
because you and I both know
we need each other in order to grow
sweet home to
I am here for you, all of the weird me
meeting you there.
With pounding, trembling and self trust,
When fear stops you from expanding and growing do this
PS: lets get back to connecting and away from our fucking phones
real, live, in person connecting now, this week, lets go.
Join me and explore the joy of inspiration through communication and trusted co-operation.
By using the Trust Process we get in touch with our hearts compassionately and patiently by being present with what is moment by moment. This life transformational process builds a core bond of trust and confidence that deepens inter relationships in animals and people. This is the ancient wisdom of shamans, which can then develop and extend to all areas of life.
When our relationship shifts from trauma based fear or shut down to trust and truth telling, over-reactions are replaced with instinctual learning and deep cellular healing.
When the human mind changes to accommodate the opinions of animals a state of gratitude and co-operation can be shared.
What can animals teach us about trust?
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My dear soul sister, fellow animal lover, sacred activist cara Gubbiins and I will be connecting every Tuesday with YOU, for a 20 minute truth bomb to connect, get real, raw and verrrry deep in our coming home to our hearts and support of our souls and more sanity – and less of everything else on the surface….
because now more than ever we are heartbreaking concerned about the state of the world.
We are passionate and in pain,
we need to bring soul medicine to where it hurts
and where we need to shine together.
We want tribe that knpow we are all in this messy brutal and beautiful experiment called life.
We are tired and we know we need to breath again
we want to trust again and speak our truth
so that we can help others in a meaningful way because it matters to us.
We know we have high standards
and are exhausted trying to get it right a
where we don’t know where we stand in the bigness of all things
and we don’t want to do it alone.
Just click Follow on my personal FB page and then join us 7pm SAST every Truth bomb Tuesday
in lightning up, speaking to truth and lighting each other up.
….because until we spill our desires everywhere and make intimate connections
we cannot help animals or the planet MORE.
in tribe together
where we make contact now because you are only a stranger until you say hello,
I see you, I love you and i want you to come
so we can go deep, speak to the unspeakable
unbecome what we have been told
unravel in the soul work
so we can do the love warrior work
in each brave, big, bold breath!